Power of Small Talk: A Summary

This is really cool.  DJ talks about four ways we can explore and enhance our community interactions by modifying the small talk we are already engaged in.  He begins by proposing that small talk reflects what we care about in our culture.  This makes sense.  You talk about what you know and what you know is likely to be what you most care about.  The four points he mentions, in order, are:  news, creativity, purchases, and relationships.

News - We all pay varying amounts of attention to national and international news, but we can usually best affect the local news, what is actually happening in our own neighborhoods.  

Creativity  - We often talk about the latest television episodes or movies we've seen, but we rarely talk about our own creative pursuits.  If we ask friends what they are doing to be creative, we learn more about each other, strengthen bonds, and potentially find opportunities for collaboration. 

Purchases - In our consumer culture, we often talk about the latest products on the market and the purchases we've made, but we rarely talk about our "old" purchases and what we are doing with them these days.  We may have something that we no longer use that someone else may find useful.  Participating in clothing/craft/what-have-you swaps is one fun way to decrease our levels of consumerism and build our communities at the same time.   

Relationships - It's easy to gossip; it's more difficult (and more rewarding) to talk about your current relationship(s) with the people with whom you are making small talk.  There is no rule that says we must only talk about our romantic relationships.  Why not talk about our community-based relationships? Community-based relationship can be just as difficult to form as romantic relationships and just as integral to our happiness.

These four suggestions are simple, yet often overlooked, ways to build our communities. They also beg for a discussion of community-based intimacy.  Look for that post in future updates of this blog.  

Focussing in an interdisciplinary world

I am an engineer by training, but I have studied (and still do study) languages and gender/queer theory.  When I told one of my highly respected professors that I was considering teaching as a career, she told me that I must choose my discipline and stick to it.  I must either be an engineer or a social scientist or a linguist, if I wanted to be taken seriously.  Yes, she does have a point.  One must specialize in an area to develop one's skills and reputation.  On the other hand, however, I fear that her narrow (not narrow-minded) approach to research and academia pervades too much of today's culture.  The engineers know little about the humanities, the scientists know little about the arts, and our educational system has mechanisms to keep these artificial barriers in place.

Now how does this relate to asexuality?  The understanding of one's own identity--whether sexual, gender, racial, etc.--is an intrinsically personal process of deep introspection.  During times of such introspection, one often seeks out information to learn more about the history and current state of people with identities similar to one's own.  This seems "natural" and "applicable" to one's own studies when one is a social scientist.  When one is involved in more "technical" professions, understanding one's identity and--gasp!--talking about the theory behind one's own identity culture is often viewed as "soft" or "taboo".  

So I'm curious.  For those of you who either identify as asexual or are active in the asexual/AVEN community, how passionate are you about learning more about your identity, how it relates to the community, and how the community relates to other socio-historical movements?  And if you care to share, what is your profession or major area of study?  

Welcome

As a child in a yet-to-be-developed area of the U.S., I used to love to run through fields of wildflowers.  It is the quintessential image of carefree youth.  I would spend the entire afternoon in those fields if I could get away with it.  

As I was trying to think of a name for this blog, I remembered running through a field of lavender with some of my college friends many years later.  There are few words to adequately describe the feeling of sheer freedom associated with running through those fields.  We ran and ran and all around us was still field and flowers and more field and more flowers.  

In this blog, I want to build off of that feeling of freedom.  This time around, however, I want to discuss freedom and its challenges within the LGBTQA community.  More specifically, I want to write about asexuality (my area of expertise), as well as other shades of queerness:  same-sex relationships, polyamory, trans issues, queer identities, just to name a few.  

I need your help, too.  While I can speak from a position of "queer experience", I am not necessarily up-to-date on the latest developments in all of the related communities.   Therefore, if you have something to add or correct in any of my posts, please do!  That's part of the blog deal.  

Now let's put this thing into drive.  I hope you enjoy the ride!